A person diagnosed with cancer is at first in shock - they feel terrified and lost in the new world - of course they need specific information, but also the support of their loved ones.

In turn, the patient's family, relatives and friends feel fear about his health and future prognosis, and they do not always know how to talk to him "from now on": about the disease, treatment, even everyday matters become a difficult topic. Is it appropriate, as before, to joke, talk about trivial things, avoid discussing the disease, or talk about it openly? Should we inform the patient about his condition and prognosis, or try to hide disturbing information?

The family tries to comfort and support the sick person, while friends, not knowing how to behave, often begin to avoid contact with the sick person. Meanwhile, he himself, going through an already difficult period due to the disease, often experiences a feeling of loneliness and lack of understanding from his loved ones.

Good communication is extremely important in the treatment process: it helps the patient get used to the disease and gives him a sense of support, and it helps the family better understand the patient. Thanks to this, the patient feels better and is more willing to cooperate with the doctor, and his or her loved ones feel less lost in this difficult situation.

How can you help? In difficult situations that we encounter in life, closeness and support from our loved ones are particularly important.

They can be shown in various ways, but the most important thing is the presence of someone close to you, conversation, and the opportunity to share your fears and experiences with another person. Talking about ordinary everyday matters, listening carefully, and sometimes even silence together - are particularly important for the patient; Thanks to this, he can cope with the accompanying anxiety much better, and that alone is enough the feeling of being heard by a loved one brings relief to the patient.

Some people believe that you should not talk to a patient about his or her fears and anxieties because it may negatively affect the treatment process. Meanwhile, talking can also calm your fears. There is a well-known psychological mechanism at work here - the more we try to hide the fear, the greater it seems and the more difficult it becomes to overcome. By confronting your fears in the presence of someone close to you, you can cope with them more easily.

Fears related to the treatment and course of the disease can be eliminated by looking for reliable and confirmed information and data about the disease - that is, facing the enemy. However, you should remember to use information from reliable sources and do not trust the opinions of other patients, because each case is different - each person responds differently to treatment, the course of the disease is different, etc.

WHEN DIALOGUE WITH THE PATIENT, YOU SHOULD FOLLOW ABOVE ALL THE FEW RULES:

• take the patient's questions seriously, trying to respond to them in a way that also takes into account his or her current mental state - sometimes it is more important to simply listen carefully than to try to find a comforting answer,
• do not lie to the patient about his condition and probable prognosis,
• remember that the disease, although serious, is only a part of the life of the person suffering from it; she would like to be treated by those around her as she was before the illness and be able to talk not only about her health condition, but also about ordinary, everyday matters.

Let's not forget that the illness of a loved one is also a big challenge for those closest to us - we are not alone, and in difficult times we can also ask for help. It is worth finding out whether there is a psycho-oncologist in the ward who, with his knowledge and experience, supports not only patients but also their families in difficult times, giving them strength to continue fighting their loved one's illness. There are also numerous non-governmental organizations that provide patients with various (financial, psychological, legal) assistance in such situations (such as ours!). It's worth looking around and reaching out for help. Let's not try to fight everything alone!

And most importantly, we should remember that we also have the right to have difficult moments, feel hopeless and have bad days. Relationships based on honesty and true feelings

and, to a large extent, spontaneity will help us build appropriate relationships with the patient, which will bring great benefits to both parties.

You need help? Contact us!

Publications, publications

• de Walden-Gałuszko, K. (1994) Quality of life in cancer patients, Gdańsk, University of Gdańsk Publishing House
• Dunn, N. (2009) Stories about cancer. The art of communication in oncological care,Via Medica – Medical Publishing House.
• Grajcarek, A. (2001) The art of talking to the sick, Kraków, AD VOCEM Publishing House.