Record holders did not have sex even two years after completing cancer treatment - according to research by the "People for People" Foundation. Patients do not know how soon after surgery they can start intercourse or how the treatment may affect libido. Patient sexuality in Polish oncology is basically non-existent. Doctors do not initiate conversations about sex, and patients are afraid or ashamed to ask.
– In public discourse, we talk about cancer almost exclusively in final terms. As if sex, work, the need to support the family and pay the bills no longer existed. – says oncologist Dr. Dariusz Godlewski. – The disease takes away self-confidence, destroys positive self-esteem, and affects physicality and mood. But at every stage of the disease, tenderness and closeness to the partner are important, often more than usual.
After amputation of breasts, reproductive organs, prostate or intestinal surgery, patients do not lose the desire or ability to have sex. However, they often do not see how to get down to business and how to achieve satisfaction in new conditions. Decreased libido, erection problems, pain during intercourse, mucous membranes damaged by chemicals, sensitive skin after chemotherapy or radiotherapy - these are usually temporary problems. Meanwhile, patients either do not engage in intercourse at all or, after painful experiences, avoid sex. Oncologists, focused on treatment, rarely initiate conversations about the impact of therapy on the sexual life of patients. Follow-up visits are short, patients are under stress, doctors are in a hurry - these are not circumstances conducive to talking about emotions and intimate life.
So sick people don't ask. The result is that a large group of people, even after completing treatment, do not have the courage to start having sex with a permanent partner or to fall in love. The low level of sexual awareness in Poland does not help break the deadlock. The patient, the sick and sex - this is a taboo topic.
– I don't know if I can – one of the patients tells us. I was operated on in November. We haven't had sex for a year. You already miss this hug, this whole thing... The woman admitted that she did not dare to ask the oncologist about sexual intercourse because she was ashamed:
– The doctor saved my life. How can you ask him about pleasures?
Polish treatment procedures ignore this aspect of health, hence many questions and doubts of patients remain unanswered for years. Meanwhile, longer foreplay, the use of a moisturizing gel or a change of position are often enough to achieve full satisfaction. Even in the case of permanent mutilation, it is possible to achieve satisfaction.
– It is worth not being afraid, not ashamed and asking doctors. Sex is one of the most important areas of life and illness should not deprive us of the closeness with our partner and the joy that comes from it. – says Dr. Małgorzata Adamczak, psychologist from the "People for People" Foundation
Source: https://faqrak.pl/article/seks-rak-i-tabu
