A cancer diagnosis is a crisis situation that triggers a lot of emotions and thoughts. It is a challenge for both the sick person and their environment. Support from loved ones is very important during this period and at every stage of treatment.
Family, friends, acquaintances often do not know what to say or how to behave. It often happens that they decide to withdraw, fearing that their words or actions may cause discomfort.
How to support a sick person?
▶︎ Or
This may seem trivial, but it's really the most important thing. A kind, authentic, non-judgmental presence is the most important thing.
▶︎ Ask about needs
This is one of the most important questions we can ask when we want to support our sick loved one. "Tell me, how can I support you now?", "I want to be with you, what do you need?". This question opens up to authentic communication and gives space for creating good, "tailored" support.
▶︎ Give space for all emotions
It is this experience, this "voicing" of all the emotions that come to a person experiencing a health crisis, that can be healing and create space for new strength.
▶︎ Be careful
For what is verbal and non-verbal. And be authentic. And if you don't know how to behave, what to say - say t o. "I don't want to unintentionally hurt you, tell me if you want to talk about (…)/ do you need (…)?", "I don't know what to say, but I'm here for you."
▶︎ Offer support and "check"
Each of us is good at something. It is exactly the same with support – we have different resources, different competences. Some of us will be great emotional support, others will provide logistical support. Be attentive (see above!) to your loved one and when proposing some activities or joint activities – ask (check) how your loved one is doing with them.
▶︎ Respect boundaries and autonomy
A natural reaction to the illness of someone close to us is the desire to help them. It is good if this help is tailored to the needs of our sick loved one and also leaves room for their actions and individuality. Each of us needs to have an influence on things that are important to us, each of us also needs solitude sometimes.
▶︎ LOOK AFTER YOURSELF
Yes. When supporting others, you need to take care of yourself twice as much. Organize a support network – share activities according to your competences, skills, and time possibilities. Remember about your diet and sleep hygiene. Take care of the time “outside of illness” to be able to regain strength.
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Author:
mgr Katarzyna Binkiewicz
