Cancer affects not only physical health, but also emotional, social and professional life. In the face of diagnosis, treatment, uncertainty and often many limitations, emotions become intense and often difficult to contain. One of them is anger - an emotion that is often misunderstood and even condemned. Meanwhile, anger is not a mistake or weakness, but an important and natural signal.
What is anger and why does it appear in cancer?
Anger is a basic emotion that plays an important adaptive role. It is a reaction to a violation of our boundaries, sense of justice, safety and control. In cancer, many of these areas are seriously disrupted: the body functions differently than before, everyday life changes, and plans and dreams are questioned.
In such a situation, anger may arise for various reasons:
➡︎ Frustration and helplessness – when we feel that we are losing control over our own body and life.
➡︎ Fear and danger – as an emotion supporting the readiness to fight or flee.
➡︎ Physical and mental pain – anger is sometimes a reaction to suffering that is difficult to express otherwise.
➡︎ Fatigue from the treatment process – chronic strain on the body often leads to irritation and irritability.
➡︎ Difficulties in relationships with loved ones and medical staff – tensions and misunderstandings trigger emotional reactions.
In psycho-oncology, we emphasize that anger is not one-dimensional. It is a complex emotion that often conceals other, more difficult to accept feelings, such as sadness, disappointment, fear, or guilt.
Anger as a signal and defense mechanism
From a psychological perspective, anger can be understood as a signal that says, "Something is wrong, something hurts me, I need change or protection."
In cancer, which often takes away a sense of security and autonomy, anger can be a defense mechanism. It allows one to maintain one's own identity and psychological boundaries in a situation where one's body and life are undergoing rapid change.
Thanks to anger, a sick person can:
⏺︎ express opposition to suffering and injustice;
⏺︎ regain a sense of influence, even if it is symbolic;
⏺︎ mobilize energy to act or seek support;
⏺︎ protect yourself from feelings of helplessness and despair.
Why is it worth taking a close look at anger?
However, unprocessed or suppressed anger can lead to negative consequences: worsening relationships, chronic stress, and even worsening physical symptoms. It can also reinforce a sense of isolation, especially if the sick person is ashamed of their emotions or afraid to reveal them.
That is why psycho-oncology emphasizes the importance of conscious work with emotions, including anger. Mindfulness of one's own emotional reactions helps to recognize what is hidden beneath anger and allows for better management of emotions in the treatment process.
How to deal with anger?
Dealing with anger is not about suppressing or ignoring it, but about recognizing it carefully and expressing it constructively. Here are some important tips that can help you work with anger:
✔︎ Naming emotions – an important step is to acknowledge and name the anger, without judging yourself. “I feel angry” is a simple but crucial message to yourself.
✔︎ Investigating the Source of Emotion – it is worth considering what is hidden under anger: fear, a sense of injustice, fatigue or disappointment. This allows you to better understand your needs.
✔︎ Expressing anger in a safe way – talking to loved ones or a specialist, writing a diary, or physical activity can help relieve tension.
✔︎ Establishing boundaries – anger can support the defense of one’s own boundaries, e.g. in relationships or during treatment, which is why it is important to communicate them clearly.
✔︎ Seeking psychological support – if anger is difficult to bear or leads to isolation, the help of a psycho-oncologist allows you to work through emotions and find coping strategies.
Anger in cancer is a natural and important emotion. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you – it means you’re reacting to a difficult situation. Anger in itself is not a reason for shame or self-criticism, but an invitation to a mindful encounter with yourself.
If you feel that anger is overwhelming you, do not be afraid to seek help. A psycho-oncologist is a person who will help you understand it, tame it and experience it in a way that does not hurt, but supports.
***
Author: Katarzyna Binkiewicz
