Asking for help is an act that can be difficult for many of us \u2013 even in a situation such as a cancer diagnosis. Despite often feeling helpless and afraid, many people are not ready to ask for help. The foundations of the difficulty in asking for help can be both psychological and social factors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We are afraid to ask for help, so as not to show our weakness. We are afraid of being judged, and sometimes we are also afraid of rejection. We live in a culture that promotes strength, independence, and self-reliance. These are the traits that are socially valued. Quite often, asking for help for some is also associated with a sense of loss of control. Shame and guilt that we burden others with our problems make us struggle within ourselves and try to cope on our own. When we hear the words "You have to be brave<\/em>\u201d we feel that we really \u201cshould\u201d be brave and cope. Sometimes the difficulties with asking for help are related to our assertiveness and inability to take care of ourselves, sometimes also to low self-esteem, which affects our beliefs about asking for and accepting help. Sometimes it is also, in a way, an escape from responsibility, when we feel that others should give us this help, even though we did not ask for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The most important thing in asking for help and accepting help is precisely this openness to "accepting". It is standing in truth with yourself and recognizing: yes, I need another person. Because asking for help is not an expression of weakness. It is the highest dimension of strength. It is the awareness that there are situations in which I need others, I need their presence, support and it does not belittle me - it does not belittle my resources, competences. It is an expression of awareness, care and responsibility for my life, as well as an expression of courage in communicating myself and my needs to others. We are social beings and both the need for help and giving it have huge benefits for us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n How to overcome barriers to asking for help?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \ud83d\udd37 Name your needs<\/strong> \u2013 very often we have a problem asking for help because we are not really able to identify and name our needs well. If they concern emotional support \u2013 listen to your body, be attentive to your emotions \u2013 the answers are often there. When do I feel good? When do I get frustrated in the relationship? What am I missing? Make a list of your needs. Both those related to the relationship, but also those related to other needs \u2013 physical, logistical, financial, etc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \ud83d\udd37 Build your support network<\/strong> \u2013 find people in your environment that you trust, with whom you feel safe and with whom you can be yourself authentically. If you do not find such people in your environment \u2013 it is worth seeking support from a specialist, you can also look for support groups or use the help Foundation<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \ud83d\udd37 Communicate your needs openly<\/strong> \u2013 it often happens that we try to ask for help indirectly \u2013 using various kinds of allusions or we explode with anger. This often happens because we suppress our needs by not communicating them directly. When you identify your needs, you will name them \u2013 say\/write about them directly. Believe that for the people who are nearby and want to support you, this will be an important message, giving specific instructions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \ud83d\udd37 Work on your beliefs<\/strong> \u2013 remember that our actions or lack thereof are very often connected with our beliefs on a given subject. Tell yourself that asking for and accepting help is natural, that there are situations in which each of us needs other people around us. And just as you were probably ready to help your loved ones in many situations, they can help and support you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \ud83d\udd37 Be prepared for rejection<\/strong> \u2013 and don\u2019t take it personally. The fact that someone is unable to offer you their help is not information about you. We don\u2019t always have the resources to support. Open, friendly communication gives us the space to talk it through and find other ways out. That\u2019s why it\u2019s so important to build a support network.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Cancer is a challenge that requires both emotional and physical support. The treatment process itself is a challenge. Do we need to put on the strongman's armor during this time? Often, wearing it is even more of an effort than experiencing the emotions themselves. Strength is the ability to take care of yourself, and taking care of yourself also means using support when you need it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n Author:<\/p>\n\n\n\n mgr Katarzyna Binkiewicz<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Proszenie o pomoc jest aktem, kt\u00f3ry dla wielu z nas mo\u017ce by\u0107 trudny – nawet w sytuacji jak\u0105 jest rozpoznanie choroby nowotworowej. Mimo nierzadko uczucia bezradno\u015bci i l\u0119ku wiele os\u00f3b nie jest gotowych, by zwr\u00f3ci\u0107 si\u0119 o pomoc. Fundamentami trudno\u015bci z proszeniem o pomoc mog\u0105 by\u0107 zar\u00f3wno czynniki psychologiczne, jak i spo\u0142eczne. 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Mimo nierzadko uczucia bezradno\u015bci i l\u0119ku wiele os\u00f3b nie jest gotowych, by zwr\u00f3ci\u0107 si\u0119 o pomoc. Fundamentami trudno\u015bci z proszeniem o pomoc mog\u0105 by\u0107 zar\u00f3wno czynniki psychologiczne, jak i spo\u0142eczne. Boimy si\u0119 prosi\u0107…","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/fundacjarakiety.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68739"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/fundacjarakiety.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/fundacjarakiety.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fundacjarakiety.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fundacjarakiety.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=68739"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/fundacjarakiety.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68739\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fundacjarakiety.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/68740"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/fundacjarakiety.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=68739"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fundacjarakiety.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=68739"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/fundacjarakiety.pl\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=68739"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}